I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
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I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
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One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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