you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
