chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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