He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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