In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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