im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
