If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize