I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
