I've blown a few things in my day
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
