for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
