Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
