I wish i was in the wii world.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Mom said you looked used
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
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