the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Randomize
