sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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