That's when you crack a 10am beer
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
