the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
