So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
