I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
my sisters under your porch take her home
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
