sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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