Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
