This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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