I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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