Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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