Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize