Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this must be what syphilis tastes like
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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