The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
