she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
