he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
