How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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