How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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