I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
