Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
