I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Couch. On fire.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
