it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
