U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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