omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
