I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
