matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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