I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
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