bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I need to sanitize my soul.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
