i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
