ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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