do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Your cock deserves a montage
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
