So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
