Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
