It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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