Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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