Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
