There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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