smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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