3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
