How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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