Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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