everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize