Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Randomize
