so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
