I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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