these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
