Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He shit in the fireplace
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize