I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
