READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I wish there were birth control emojis
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
