Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
My penis needs a shock collar
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Randomize
