It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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