Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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