Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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