I am in a vortex of obligation.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
