Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
