hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I am spending my child support on dildos
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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